Sunday, September 24, 2006
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $500 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $500 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $500 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,
"Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the
eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a
fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high upLesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top
of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
BullS*** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how
warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm
and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!`postedat
10:10 PM.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Day 1- With a mind full of hope and excitement for my BRIGHT future i entered CJ wearing my secondary sch uniform which i might say is the nicest in singapore. Worse would be like SCGS or monks hill or something haha. Of cuz not to mention meeting the BEST group in the level IG24 for the first time which obviously happens to be my group. Played some crappy ice breakers and stuff.
Day 2- Subject combination day. I was like the last to leave the lab cuz i couldnt decide on the courses to take and in the end 3 teachers ended up surrounding me. More game, dumb games which of cuz fellow slackers me and Von would not play. Not to mention the evil Sarah who would always pinch me and beat me damn bloody hard to make me dance and play the boring unintellectual games. So unlike my intresting and fun-loving character. But my group was kinda fun. Sadly this was to be the last day together....
IG24!
Day 3- Met my new class. 1T16 which obviously happens to be the best also beyond the shadow of a doubt. PLayed somemore crappy games and ice-breakers and met our home tutor who calls himself Cute Lim.
Day 4- Friday. Our group stayed in sch today for some wierd water games during which i din get wet at all. Of cuz the Slackers Union was formed consisting of the slackers of cjc. An exclusive club onli for the slackest. Soon we shall hav our own table and rule cjc!!
Day 5-Monday. Dragon Boating and Amazing Race in the rain. But by the time dragon boat ended we were all drenched. But it was surprisingly fun. Of cuz that nearly caused me my position in the union as i was a bit too enthu. And...i played truant. Left sch before the finale night. No more mass dance and crappy cheers.
End Of Orientation.
My super enthu class. Everyday class outing...`postedat
11:04 PM.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Continuation of Journey to Shanghai...
This maglev train goes faster than the one in Japan.
At the train station.
In some crappy garden.
Finally a very merry christmas i hope.`postedat
11:42 PM.
8 boring days in china...here goes.
Sibling affection.
Just around the corner some street punks picked a fight with the police.lol
Me and my bro 260 feet above the ground at the Oreintal Pearl TV station.
Tallest building in the world. we were onli half-way up at 270 feet.
on a ferry...damn its cold.
Its bloody cold on this mountain.
Continued...`postedat
11:23 PM.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Marriage is a life long event. Most would agree that marriage is a sacred event that should only happen once. That would be something Johnson would soon come to learn of.
Johnson was known by many as a flirt. Most would think he was a successful business man but unknown to them, much of his fortune came from swindling the more honest.
Like most successful men, his riches were shown off in terms of material posessions. He wore a Rolex watch on his left hand, its metal watchband was fitted losely, such that it dangles and flopped around is wrist, like a women's bracelet. It was a sign of indifference and wealth, a casual sloppiness that suggested he was permanently on vacation.
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, the majestic sun peered through the fluffy clouds and beamed upon the earth till it reached its zenith. Perfect weather for a game at the course. His friends would often joke that he spent more time with his clubs than his wife.
"Take care of yourself!" shouted Mary from the balcony.
Mary was Johhnson's fourth wife. Just like his past few wives, he had never appreciated her.
........
Already late for his game, he made a sharp turn, what was to be his last.
When he awoke, he found himself drenched in blood. as he hung on to his last faint shreds of lucidity, he could make out what seemed like sirens from a distance, and then, blackness.
.......
His thoughts became a tempest of both fear and trepidation. What was going to happen to him now that he was crippled. He was going to lose everything that he had.
Beside him, his wife held his hand. Her hand seemed to emit a kind of warmth that he had never felt before. Tears began to fall down his cheeks as he stared right into her eyes.
Despite his actions towards her, his wife still stood by him in his darkest moments. Such love literally spelt out the true meanging of their marriage.
......
He finally understood the meaning of marriage.
He stretched forward and whispered into her ears, "till death do us part".`postedat
9:43 PM.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Set this place on fire. Let the flames rise higher.
See the fumes reach the ceiling. As i pray here kneeling.
Save me from this plight. Holding on with all my might.
Just hold my hand again. And fine i will remain.
Social Studies and Elementry Math -Monday 7th Nov Shit....
Fling!@ Chinablack 24th Nov 8.oopm. Pls confirm tickets asap.
Post-Fling! activities include CHIJ party at Desire@ Scarlett Hotel and wasting the night away.`postedat
10:22 PM.
Monday, October 31, 2005
My will,
50% of my assets will go to family amounting to a total of $20.46,
25% will go to frens and 25% will go to my funeral fees.
Funeral:
Kindly be seated by 7.00pm, RSVP before 18th Nov(ie. before O levels end)
Attire:Formal,black
Date: After my o levels.
Cause:Suicide.
All are invited...
Damn im damn way behind in my revision. Cant seem to do more than 6 hours a day. Phyiscs was a screw up. Im quite dead now. Haiz tuition tmr so early.sian. and im missing all the parties on Halloween.`postedat
10:53 PM.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
I'm just sitting here daydreaming about you and all the things you do girl feels so right and all I know ist you're the one for me, that special kinda'lady.
Last year seemed so near, o how we had so much fun. The club we went in. We got down down down to the rhythm . Saw it was early morning. Thought we'd better be leaving. So I gave you my jacket for you to hold
Told you to wear it coz you felt cold.....
Sometimes some people get me wrong when it's something I've said or done, sometimes you feel there is no fun that's why you turn and run. But now I truly realise some people don't wanna compromise. Well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies and well I don't wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights i'm sorry to say lady.
I'll Always look back, As I walk away. This memory will last for eternity. And all of our tears will be lost in the rain. When I find my way back to your arms again. But until that day you know you are the queen of my heart.
Written and compiled by:David and Marcus.`postedat
10:29 PM.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $500 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $500 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $500 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologised "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said,
"Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
Puff! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
Puff! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the
eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a
fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high upLesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top
of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
BullS*** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how
warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm
and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.
Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!`postedat
10:10 PM.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Day 1- With a mind full of hope and excitement for my BRIGHT future i entered CJ wearing my secondary sch uniform which i might say is the nicest in singapore. Worse would be like SCGS or monks hill or something haha. Of cuz not to mention meeting the BEST group in the level IG24 for the first time which obviously happens to be my group. Played some crappy ice breakers and stuff.
Day 2- Subject combination day. I was like the last to leave the lab cuz i couldnt decide on the courses to take and in the end 3 teachers ended up surrounding me. More game, dumb games which of cuz fellow slackers me and Von would not play. Not to mention the evil Sarah who would always pinch me and beat me damn bloody hard to make me dance and play the boring unintellectual games. So unlike my intresting and fun-loving character. But my group was kinda fun. Sadly this was to be the last day together....
IG24!
Day 3- Met my new class. 1T16 which obviously happens to be the best also beyond the shadow of a doubt. PLayed somemore crappy games and ice-breakers and met our home tutor who calls himself Cute Lim.
Day 4- Friday. Our group stayed in sch today for some wierd water games during which i din get wet at all. Of cuz the Slackers Union was formed consisting of the slackers of cjc. An exclusive club onli for the slackest. Soon we shall hav our own table and rule cjc!!
Day 5-Monday. Dragon Boating and Amazing Race in the rain. But by the time dragon boat ended we were all drenched. But it was surprisingly fun. Of cuz that nearly caused me my position in the union as i was a bit too enthu. And...i played truant. Left sch before the finale night. No more mass dance and crappy cheers.
End Of Orientation.
My super enthu class. Everyday class outing...`postedat
11:04 PM.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Continuation of Journey to Shanghai...
This maglev train goes faster than the one in Japan.
At the train station.
In some crappy garden.
Finally a very merry christmas i hope.`postedat
11:42 PM.
8 boring days in china...here goes.
Sibling affection.
Just around the corner some street punks picked a fight with the police.lol
Me and my bro 260 feet above the ground at the Oreintal Pearl TV station.
Tallest building in the world. we were onli half-way up at 270 feet.
on a ferry...damn its cold.
Its bloody cold on this mountain.
Continued...`postedat
11:23 PM.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Marriage is a life long event. Most would agree that marriage is a sacred event that should only happen once. That would be something Johnson would soon come to learn of.
Johnson was known by many as a flirt. Most would think he was a successful business man but unknown to them, much of his fortune came from swindling the more honest.
Like most successful men, his riches were shown off in terms of material posessions. He wore a Rolex watch on his left hand, its metal watchband was fitted losely, such that it dangles and flopped around is wrist, like a women's bracelet. It was a sign of indifference and wealth, a casual sloppiness that suggested he was permanently on vacation.
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, the majestic sun peered through the fluffy clouds and beamed upon the earth till it reached its zenith. Perfect weather for a game at the course. His friends would often joke that he spent more time with his clubs than his wife.
"Take care of yourself!" shouted Mary from the balcony.
Mary was Johhnson's fourth wife. Just like his past few wives, he had never appreciated her.
........
Already late for his game, he made a sharp turn, what was to be his last.
When he awoke, he found himself drenched in blood. as he hung on to his last faint shreds of lucidity, he could make out what seemed like sirens from a distance, and then, blackness.
.......
His thoughts became a tempest of both fear and trepidation. What was going to happen to him now that he was crippled. He was going to lose everything that he had.
Beside him, his wife held his hand. Her hand seemed to emit a kind of warmth that he had never felt before. Tears began to fall down his cheeks as he stared right into her eyes.
Despite his actions towards her, his wife still stood by him in his darkest moments. Such love literally spelt out the true meanging of their marriage.
......
He finally understood the meaning of marriage.
He stretched forward and whispered into her ears, "till death do us part".`postedat
9:43 PM.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Set this place on fire. Let the flames rise higher.
See the fumes reach the ceiling. As i pray here kneeling.
Save me from this plight. Holding on with all my might.
Just hold my hand again. And fine i will remain.
Social Studies and Elementry Math -Monday 7th Nov Shit....
Fling!@ Chinablack 24th Nov 8.oopm. Pls confirm tickets asap.
Post-Fling! activities include CHIJ party at Desire@ Scarlett Hotel and wasting the night away.`postedat
10:22 PM.
Monday, October 31, 2005
My will,
50% of my assets will go to family amounting to a total of $20.46,
25% will go to frens and 25% will go to my funeral fees.
Funeral:
Kindly be seated by 7.00pm, RSVP before 18th Nov(ie. before O levels end)
Attire:Formal,black
Date: After my o levels.
Cause:Suicide.
All are invited...
Damn im damn way behind in my revision. Cant seem to do more than 6 hours a day. Phyiscs was a screw up. Im quite dead now. Haiz tuition tmr so early.sian. and im missing all the parties on Halloween.`postedat
10:53 PM.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
I'm just sitting here daydreaming about you and all the things you do girl feels so right and all I know ist you're the one for me, that special kinda'lady.
Last year seemed so near, o how we had so much fun. The club we went in. We got down down down to the rhythm . Saw it was early morning. Thought we'd better be leaving. So I gave you my jacket for you to hold
Told you to wear it coz you felt cold.....
Sometimes some people get me wrong when it's something I've said or done, sometimes you feel there is no fun that's why you turn and run. But now I truly realise some people don't wanna compromise. Well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies and well I don't wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights i'm sorry to say lady.
I'll Always look back, As I walk away. This memory will last for eternity. And all of our tears will be lost in the rain. When I find my way back to your arms again. But until that day you know you are the queen of my heart.
Written and compiled by:David and Marcus.`postedat
10:29 PM.
